I was very upset last night.
It was the typical reaction of someone being confronted with what scares them the most, and doing everything in their power to minimize the fear by keeping the frightening thing at bay.
In my case, it meant shifting the blame to someone else. TM. My poor boyfriend.
It meant not listening to what he was trying to tell me, and really hear what he needed to say.
It meant squashing my own wants and desires, and adamantly telling him I didn’t want something I so did.
It meant hanging up on him and thinking that I could spend the rest of the night that way, without repenting.
But I just couldn’t do it, you know?
I’m happy to say that I only made it a couple of minutes before calling him back, and not even to fight any more, but to truly say that I was sorry, that I loved him, to ask him to stay on the phone with me while I went to sleep.
And when I woke up this morning, another apology, and a promise – to figure this out, to find something that works for both of us. A sacrifice that we both can make.
After all, that’s what it means to be committed, right?