It’s been a long time since I looked at these pages.
I don’t have anything to say just yet, though there’s a lot bubbling up beneath the surface. A lot is going on, and it’s always helpful for me to have a dumping ground for my thoughts.
So here’s a look at what’s been going on these past few months. I’ll delve into some of these things pretty soon.
- I made it safely home
- I found a new job
- I learned my mom is pregnant
- I learned my sister is pregnant
- I learned my aunt (NAunt2) is getting divorced
- I found an affordable therapist
- I was diagnosed with PTSD
- I started to work through my child sexual abuse
- I may have remembered things I’m not yet ready to remember
- I continued to deal with feelings of worthlessness and self-harm
- I was triggered by rape scenes and suicide in movies
- I found out my mom had preeclampsia and needed an emergency c-section
- I got a new baby sister
- I took control of my life
I think I’ll start on the child abuse. That’s a story I’ve rarely told. And there’s some other abuse, some I’m not sure of, that I’ll need to get out sooner or later as well.
But all in good time.
Suffice to say, I am happy, very happy, much happier than I’ve ever been in a long time, even though it still feels uncomfortable to say so sometimes.
I’m going back to who I was — who I was meant to be, and may have become, had certain things in my life not happened. (Maybe I’ll tell you that story someday, too.)
As for now, hello again, and I’ll speak to you soon.